After Daniel: A Suicide Survivor's Tale

After Daniel: A Suicide Survivor's Tale

Moira Farr

Language: English

Pages: 168

ISBN: 000638479X

Format: PDF / Kindle (mobi) / ePub


Moira Farr discovered Daniel Jones' body on Valentine's Day, 1994. Struggling with deep depression, he had killed himself using a method clearly outlined in the bestselling book, Final Exit. Six years later, in an account both deeply personal and thoughtfully political, Farr reflects on Daniel's suicide and its consequences. After Daniel is not a sensational tell-all, a self-help book on grieving, or an academic review of suicide theories. It is one woman's story—beautifully, lyrically told—of her own experiences and her realization that answers come both from within and from looking at suicide in a wider social context. After Daniel reaches beyond suicide survivors to all those who embrace the sacredness of life and love.

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The not-so-lucky instead totter along a precarious course, swerving dizzily between inappropriate grandiosity (“I’m great, it’s the world that’s an ass and the cause of all my problems!”) and vicious self-hatred (“Could there be a lower form of scum than me?”). Some get stuck in one or the other of these dead-end pathways, or make side-trips down the more dangerous roads of addiction, mania, depression, and suicidality. But even these hazardous states can eventually be transcended, Miller says.

could happen, maybe it just could! Yes, well, call in agents Mulder and Scully on your own personal X-file. Invariably, your theory is blown, as the person comes closer and reveals beyond all doubt that he is not who you thought he was. Yet even irrefutable evidence doesn’t stop the search. I don’t know how many Daniel sightings I’ve had over the past six years. Probably dozens, though they are now rare. Where I would once become upset, I now only smile when I see a tall, fair-skinned young man

her, obviously hoping to take my mind off my troubles for a few hours. Not long into the performance we realized that suicide was a major subplot. I think it upset my friend more than it did me. “Are you okay?” she whispered, holding my arm as though she would lift me from my seat and briskly escort me out of the theatre if I answered no. It was almost funny. I assured her that I was fine. I think I was still too numb to care what the play had to say about anything, let alone suicide. Later, in

everything I could. Kris was no angel, but he was a soft and gentle boy inside. He should never have been put in that cell.” Roulette said she wanted to go camping with her son’s ashes, somewhere in the interior of B.C., but hadn’t yet been able to do it. “He always wanted to go there,” she says, her gaze shifting to somewhere far off behind my head. “It’s just too bad it has to be after he’s dead.” For a time, Debbie and Karen Payne met regularly to discuss their cases and what strategy to

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