Conquering Darkness: Memoir of the Serial Killers Wife

Conquering Darkness: Memoir of the Serial Killers Wife

Alice M Swafford

Language: English

Pages: 234

ISBN: 1463797303

Format: PDF / Kindle (mobi) / ePub


Conquering Darkness, Memoir of the Serial Killer’s Wife is a painfully candid account of the lives of two black people who grew up together in West Oakland, California. Their story, would, in a few aspects, mirror the simple plot of “boy meets girl.” Everybody knows that story—right? Boy meets girl; they fall in love and live happily ever after. However, the lives of Alice Marie Swafford and William Jennings Choyce were woven together by the threads of early parental abandonment and gross parental abuse that came creeping in from their past. Alice’s father abandoned her at the delicate age of five. That early experience filled her with an insecurity she could not shake; this, in turn, gave birth to a fragile and emotional state of mind which made Alice desperate to find a man to replace her father and the love he gave to her. William, on the other hand, grew up with both his parents in the home, but he was emotionally and physically abused by his mother. He desperately struggled to love and to please her— but to no avail. William’s misguided search for love would take him on an ill-fated journey with all kinds of dark psychological twists and turns that ruptured his childhood and split his adult mind down the middle; one side was good, and one side was pure evil. This journey started, unbeknownst to Alice, long before she joined William in marriage. But how would the young Alice know who she was really dealing with? It would take decades for her to truly understand that question. More importantly, how would Alice ever understand who she was and is now? This memoir, written by Alice and her daughter, Crystal Choyce-Lige, provides an up close and honest retrospective account of what life was like with a budding serial rapist and serial murderer who flew under the radar of his family and law enforcement for decades. How? He was very, very clever and cunning. All the while he was playing the part of husband and father; he was also leaving the house every night for his well thought out and stakeouts to lure and prey upon the most vulnerable people in our society. The essential questions asked and then answered are: How and why could this nightmare happen and then last for so long? Why couldn’t Alice see what was right in front of her? The answers will enlighten as well as surprise those who embark upon the riveting adventure of reading this book.

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tabooish prototype. All I knew is that I needed a man to love me so deeply that it would compensate for the early losses of love in my life— first my father and then my president, who I loved as well. And of course, I met some really nice guys in college. But all my longing for love was tied the region of the world where I had never had it— home in West Oakland, California. But for this complication in my world, I probably would have never chosen William Jennings Choyce as my mate. And I would

feelings he harbored against his mother for such a long time, something inside his head had to break. When he stopped caring about his hygiene and physical appearance, I knew something was drastically wrong. This was perhaps the first sign that William was trying to reckon with his “other self”, or the injured part of his mind that was all dirtied up. How could I have known? When William became obsessed with renting and watching pornographic movies on video, I also knew this was a bad sign. Of

One sniiiiiiiiiiiiff… I closed my eyes. I hoped that I could prevent my heart from beating really fast like it did the first time I tried cocaine. Then the other nose… sniiiiiiiiiiiiff… The numbness came. I went downstairs to write in my journal. The clean white pages reminded me of a cool sheet of snow. But my hands were numb too. I couldn’t write. I could barely think past the single idea of being free of the unknown, or the things that haunted me and made me crazy-angry. But, I slept well that

told me that I was never going to sleep and that I wouldn’t graduate from my Master’s program because I couldn’t concentrate enough to finish my research paper. My head went into a whirlpool of pain and torment and I became convinced that my life was never going to get better. Then I began to visualize what would happen if I committed suicide in Rick’s house, in his little bathroom. I saw my blood and my brains splattered all over everything. And I saw Rick coming home after work to find me. He

about me. He was my friend, my protector, and if I could have let him get close to me, he would have been the only lover for me— for the rest of my life. I know this much now. When it became clear to me that I had a serious case of insomnia, I began sleeping in the room Rick prepared for me so that I could study; I was in the final months of my Master’s program. I tried to make good use of the time alone and of those few moments when it felt like I could, even minimally, control my thoughts.

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