Mr. K's Book of Really Nasty Jokes

Mr. K's Book of Really Nasty Jokes

Mr. K

Language: English

Pages: 136

ISBN: 0806528397

Format: PDF / Kindle (mobi) / ePub


Here's what they're saying about Mr. K's Book of Really Nasty Jokes: "I couldn't put it down" -Benny the Shoplifter, Ferd, New Jersey "Vile . . . utterly disgusting . . . shockingly repulsive . . . and that was just the copyright page" -Miss Henrietta Starch, Librarian, Prairie Oyster, Texas "This book made me laugh so hard I dropped my dentures into my soup" -Hiram Crimp, author of Never Trust a Fart: Surviving Old Age with Dignity Mr. K is a pseudonym. He has worked as a pimp in a leper colony in Guatemala, a crash test dummy in Detroit, and a deep sea fisherman in Iowa. From 1989 through 1992 he was in the Federal Witness Protection Program until he was booted out for marrying a horse. He is the author of The Looter's Guide to American Cities and Dial M for Martyr: Suicide Bombing for Beginners. He lives in Oatmeal, Nebraska, with his wife, the former Miss Tequila Mockingbird.

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upgraded, but two hours later the chink is still trying to back out of your d riveway. 68 Mr. K How do you tell when a Muslim girl is menstruating? She only wears one sock. A group of cowboys is out on the range branding some cattle. While they're gone, the new cook sees a sheep tied to a post. Thinking it's the main course for supper, the cook slaughters the sheep and cooks it up. Later, the cook notices all the cowboys sulking around the campfire. "What's wrong? Did I screw up the

cooking?" he asks. "No," one says. "You cooked up the screwing." A guy walks into a drugstore to pick up his prescription of Viagra. " That'll be $75, " the druggest says. The man replies, " That's a lot of money for something that raises my sexual performance. Do you have anything a lot cheaper that will lower her expectations?" What did the blonde write on the postcard she sent home from vacation? "Dear mom and dad: Having a great time. Where am I?" Mr. K 's Book of Really Nasty Jokes 69

"No problem," he says. And in they go. Joe is shocked. Right smack in the middle of the living room is a huge stack of dirty dishes. In the kitchen is anoth er huge stack of dishes. Piled up on the stairs, in the corridor, everywhere he looks, dirty dishes. Th ey sit down to dinner and, sure enough, no one says a word. Mr. K's Book of Really Nasty Jokes 81 As dinner progresses, Joe decides to take advantage of the Situation. He leans over and kisses Sandra. No one says a word. So he reaches

the street, the women had real breasts, and the men didn't hold hands. Mr. K's Book of Really Nasty Jokes 87 A telemarketer calls a number that's answered by a young woman with three small children runn ing around her. "We're a very large pharmaceutical company, " the telemarketer says. "One of our products is Vaseline. Are you famil iar with It?" "Yes," she says. "My husband and I use it when we have sex." The telemarketer is a little shocked. He says, "I always ask that question because

them! Why did t he Muslim stop eating his wife? He heard someone call her a pig. Did you hear about t he Mexican who ate pussy? He choked to deat h on a kitten. A guy goes to a whorehouse in Vegas. All he wants to do is eat pussy, so he's sent upstairs to the t hird door on the left. Inside is a beaut iful redhead. She uncrosses her legs and says to him, "Okay, big boy. You like to eat pu ssy? Well, chow down." Mr. K's Book of Really Nasty Jokes 3 The guy hops on the bed and starts licking

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