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At the centre of the drama is Ambrose Archibald, an irredeemable reprobate and the type of guy who rants philosophically at the bar while mooching beer from his friends. He’s a narcissist who thinks he’s God’s gift to women. And he’s having an affair with the charming and beautiful Mandy Menzies, who was the high school beauty queen but is now stuck in a marriage of convenience and a life of boredom. Her housekeeper, Estelle Carmichael, has seen it all, but her prickly exterior belies a loving heart. The dryly funny Freddy Durdle is the perfect counter-
balance to over-the-top Ambrose.
All four oddballs seem stuck in their lives, but searing sarcasm relieves the boredom and crazy, everyday dramas aid their struggle to move on and keep things light
Cast of 2 women and 2 men.
not. I’m so glueable. ESTELLE Gullible. MANDY And you know I have no problem at all with you being who what who you are. ESTELLE Lesbian. 18 MANDY It’s such a funny-sounding word. ESTELLE So is glueable. MANDY Anyway – Referring to her dress. You like? ESTELLE It’s eleven o’clock in the morning. You live in a fishing village. MANDY Don’t remind me. I’m so bored. MANDY plays with a branch on her new chair pricking her finger. Ouch. ESTELLE How much did you pay for this – chair? MANDY You like
Typeset in Arno Printed and bound in Canada on 30% post-consumer recycled paper Interior and cover design by Typesmith Cover photograph © Len Green via Shutterstock Talonbooks gratefully acknowledges the financial support of the Canada Council for the Arts, the Government of Canada through the Canada Book Fund, and the Province of British Columbia through the British Columbia Arts Council and the Book Publishing Tax Credit. Rights to produce Odd Ducks, in whole or in part, in any medium by any
rock-star look – zipping his fly. He joins FREDDY. AMBROSE What’s with the new “mood lighting” in the bathroom? FREDDY Conrad put in blue light bulbs so the junkies can’t see their veins. AMBROSE When did we get junkies? FREDDY You know Conrad: textbook alarmist. Apparently everyone’s got them. Part of society. High society. 37 AMBROSE Same cesspool. Different cesses. FREDDY I cesspose. Lazy laughs. Drinks. Silence. FREDDY How was Walter’s wake? AMBROSE I gotta disappear. FREDDY Promises
my mouth but believe me it was never ever my intention to have sex with him in the salad bar. That was the furthest thing from my mind. You just have to believe that in order to understand the complexities of the whole situation. Incidentally – for those of you thinking: Now there’s a place I haven’t tried it – be warned – you’ll be picking lettuce out of your – out of your hair for weeks. I fell fast and hard for Ambrose Archibald. And though the salad-bar incident was not my proudest moment –
good person. A really good person. And you’re hot – in that sexy librarian kind of way. You should know that. You should embrace that. And I really do hope that you can find a way – you know – to make Mandy happy. ESTELLE What do you mean by that? AMBROSE She won’t be too happy with me today. ESTELLE Big surprise. 73 AMBROSE Who made the sandwiches? ESTELLE hits him with her purse. Ouch. Okay. I gotta run. AMBROSE is gone. ESTELLE looks around nervously. She spruces up the flower arrangement.