The Ugly Joke Book

The Ugly Joke Book

Milt Rosen

Language: English

Pages: 0

ISBN: 0523418086

Format: PDF / Kindle (mobi) / ePub

Book by Rosen, Milt

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daughter's room and was horrified to find her daughter, a very ugly young woman, in bed with a handsome young man. His figure was lithe and muscular. His handsome face had finely chiseled features . Upset, the mother demanded to know what was going on. "I can explain everything, mother, " the daughter said. " I was coming home last night. While passing the pond, I heard this little frog croaking . I leaned over and he said, 'Miss, I'm a prince. An ugly spell has turned ~ me into a frog. If

do?" The parish priest thought for a momem then said, "On the way home tonight. ptck up a couple of oozy slimy snails and keep them in the house with you." The husband walked home. Passing a dewy field, he gathered a few of the ooziest and slimiest snails he could find. He brough t them into the house and put them on his mantlepiece. A few days later, he returned to the priest " Father, I don't know what kind of hocuspocus you had in mind, but I looked at m y wife and I got weak in the knees."

She had so much hair on her face, her electric razor had three speeds-Slow, Fast, and Timber. * .. .. She was so ugly, she went to the beauty parlor out of memory. * • She had beautiful long black hair .. . under her armpits. She had a natural complexion . .. oatmeal. The ugly wife wasn 't feeling too -well. Her husband took her to the family physician who gave her a complete physical. He could find nothing wrong physi"cally and concluded, "Your wife feels unloved. She must have sex

ugly, she could make a train leave the track. * * She was an opera star, one of the ugliest women who ever lived. Ugly, uglier than sin. But when she sang, people forgot her gruesome face and heard only music coming from an angel. One day she got married. The morning after the honeymoon night, the groom saw her without make-up for the first time. He jumped up and screamed, "Sing something !" "":\ She came from a town where all the women were ugly. One year, they had a beauty contest and

his wife standing on her head. "What's that for? " he asked. She said, " I figured tonight you could drop in. " She was so ugly, she could scare a saint out of a thicket. • * * A man was unfortunate enough to have five extremely ugly daughters. Each night when he came home from work, he'd see his youngest sitting watching television. He'd smile at her and say, "I wish I had two just like you." He did this night after night. Finally, the ugly daughter became curious. She said , "Dad, I know

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