The World According to Manager Mark: Life, Love and Torquay

The World According to Manager Mark: Life, Love and Torquay

Mark Jenkins

Language: English

Pages: 288

ISBN: 1784188166

Format: PDF / Kindle (mobi) / ePub


Having driven into the sunset in the final episode of Channel 4's The Hotel, Mark Jenkins is back doing what he does best - entertaining the nation. His unique take on life, affable charm, and woefully naive exploits are all captured with great comedic effect in this, his first book. In The World According to Manager Mark you will discover just what makes this real-life Basil Fawlty tick. Containing Mark's opinions on everything from AGEING to YORKSHIRE PUDDINGS, from BUS LANES to VEGETARIANS, and featuring VOL-AU-VENTS, INFLATABLES and countless SAUSAGES, this book houses more entertainment than a hotel in peak season. Frank, forthcoming and downright funny, in this A-Z of Mark's world you'll find a manifesto for a life in which we discover the difference between naturists and naturalists, umbrellas are categorised as dangerous weapons and green food is banned. Whether you consider yourself rich, poor or normal, and whether you drink real champagne or 'nearly champagne', this book contains something for everyone. Even the Queen! What's more, you might learn a thing or two. UNBELIEVABLE!

Attempting Normal

Anonymous Lawyer

Filthy, Funny, and Totally Offensive: Jokes So Dirty Comedians and Entertainers Only Tell Them to Each Other

Freddy and Fredericka

Foreign Affairs: A Novel

The Even Bigger Book Of Gross Jokes

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

this book. Not at all! That would be very mercenary. No, my interest in her is for another reason. One of high art and cultural aspiration. You see, she’s also a film producer and I reckon she might just option the movie rights. Naturally, I’d want to play myself but, as second choice, George Clooney is about the same age as me and I believe we share the same dentist. Winston Churchill He could deliver a rousing after-dinner speech and then light up the most enormous cigar. No one would dare

water to last while I was away for the month. Of course, when I came home, they had all died! Most of the water was still in the pots – apparently, I’d overwatered them and they’d drowned. Perhaps I should have explained to them to try not to drink all the water in one go! No, I don’t think gardening’s for me. As you know, I’m not one to give up easily but, in this case, I think I’ll throw in the trowel. GIRLFRIENDS When I was about eleven years old, I managed to get my first proper

You see, the business didn’t do quite as well as it should have done. The trouble was that, at that time in the 1970s, there were lots of problems importing enough recorders from China. Wholesalers found that supplies were sometimes scarce and very hard to get hold of. However, I decided I wasn’t going to miss out on this great opportunity and would spend what it took to make this business a success. I had an opportunity to buy a big job-lot of recorders and stocked up with over a hundred of

ring the bell twice – the signal to the driver that everyone was off and he could drive on. I was very amused watching the other kids being driven on to the next stop, knowing they’d have to walk all the way back. That was until one day when the driver was looking in his mirror and saw me ring the bell and reported me to the school! I got into a lot of trouble and since then I’ve never really been a fan of buses. In fact, I’ve always considered them for people too lazy to pass a driving test or

What I really hate about some shoe shops is the fact that it would appear the management doesn’t trust you. So they hide half the bloody shoes. In most shops, even when you have found what you consider to be the perfect shoes, you have to take a number! It’s a bit like going to A&E or a bakery. It’s funny that both such places work on the same system of queuing. I once had to attend A&E when one of Derek’s fins went into my eye and, because I couldn’t see properly, I went into a bakery by

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