You'll Never Nanny in This Town Again: The True Adventures of a Hollywood Nanny

You'll Never Nanny in This Town Again: The True Adventures of a Hollywood Nanny

Suzanne Hansen

Language: English

Pages: 304

ISBN: 0307237680

Format: PDF / Kindle (mobi) / ePub

New and completely updated edition

Hilarious and addictive, this chronicle of a small-town girl’s stint as a celebrity nanny reveals what really happens in the diaper trenches of Hollywood.

When Oregon native Suzanne Hansen becomes a live-in nanny to the children of Hollywood über-agent Michael Ovitz, she thinks she’s found the job of her dreams. But Hansen’s behind-the-scenes access soon gets her much more than she bargained for: working twenty-four hours a day, juggling the shifting demands of the Hollywood elite, and struggling to comprehend wealth unimaginable to most Americans, not to mention dealing with the expected tantrums and the unexpected tense–and intense–atmosphere in the house where she lives with her employers.

When the thankless drudgery takes its toll and Hansen finally quits, her boss threatens to blackball her from ever nannying in Hollywood again. Discouraged but determined, Hansen manages to land gigs with Debra Winger and then Danny DeVito and Rhea Perlman. Attentive, welcoming parents with a relaxed attitude toward celebrity–looks like Hansen’s fallen into a real-life happy ending. But the round-the-clock workdays continue, rubbing some of the glitter off L.A. living, and Hansen’s not sure how much longer she can pretend to be Mary Poppins. Even bosses who treat her like family can’t help as she struggles to find meaning in her work while living in a town that seems to lack respect for nannies and everyone else who comes in the employee’s entrance–but without whom many showbiz households would grind to a halt.

Peppering her own journey with true stories and high drama experienced by other nannies to the stars, Hansen offers an intriguing, entertaining mix of tales from the cribs of the rich and famous. You’ll Never Nanny in This Town Again is a treat for everyone who is fascinated by the skewed priorities of Tinseltown, for anyone who has wondered how high-wattage supermoms do it all, and for readers who love peeking behind the curtains of celebrity, all of whom will devour this unparalleled–and unabashedly true–account of one girl’s tour of duty as Hollywood’s hired help.

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her and left without paying. By the following visit, I had broken several other nails. Only this time, after the woman fixed them she said, “You owe me four bucks.” “Huh?” I said. “Judy said she was paying for it.” “Sorry, girl, Mrs. Ovitz didn’t pay me for last week. So you owe me two bucks from then and two bucks for today. She said she wasn’t going to pay for broken nails, only for your fill. I guess Mrs. Ovitz thinks if you break them, you pay for them.” I gave her the four dollars and a

and Carmen used it often, always with a peaceful smile on her face. This was her private little act of revenge for all the times Josh said she was stupid and a moron or that he didn’t have to listen to what she said. He didn’t like listening to any of us, really. One day, when I was helping Joshua get dressed, he threw a fit because he couldn’t find his blue socks. He started his usual rant—calling Delma a stupid idiot moron and saying it was all her fault. I told him that it was not okay to

On my way out the door, I took a peek at the stack of library books Jumpin’ Johnny had knocked off the end table: The Hyperactive Child: A Handbook for Parents Living with Our Hyperactive Children The Myth of the ADD Child Nature’s Ritalin Okay. I told the agency that this was definitely not the family for me—or for any other live-in nanny unless they planned to bring their own RV with them to work each day. I won’t bore you with the details of my third and final interview that day. Let’s

the night. I could see that this would not work for a hands-on mom like Debra. I felt at ease with Debra immediately, and I sensed that I had entered a different dimension. This was the kind of relaxed environment that might be ripe for leisurely lunches and girly shopping trips. During the interview, Debra even asked me if I would be interested in reading scripts for her. Her agent sent her so many, and she asked if I could give her an idea of what the story was about. Could I? Of course! The

say, How is that possible? Peggy had never been all that kind to me, but this tipped the scale, so to speak. “Maybe you should wear this much makeup more often,” she said, laughing quietly to herself. I was considered a hot number back in my day! I wanted to retort. Oh my God. My day was only a couple of years ago. I had to put myself back together. I already looked like a haggard housewife, and I wasn’t even married! It didn’t add up. I loved the way that this family really enjoyed every

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